Today, I could not find my cell phone. It was gone. The previous night I had sent my friend a text at approximately 8:35pm. At this time I was at the kitchen table. This is the extent of the clues to base my actions upon. I had not left the house in the time since I remembered having the phone. My apartment is slightly larger than a couple walk in closets. This search should not take long.
I have a history of misplacing things, so this described scene is nothing out of the ordinary.First, to the kitchen table, the last scene in memory. On the table, under the table, on top of the counters. Nope. OK, to the living room. On the desk, on the TV stand, on the couch, in the couch, under a blanket. Nope. Quick glance into the bathroom, obviously not there. Final stop, the bedroom. On the bed, on the nightstand, under the blankets. Nothing. I'm still calm at this point.
The phone must still be in my clothes from yesterday. What was I wearing? Check my jeans. Back pocket on the right, front right, front left, back left. Nothing but some change. My coat was hanging up in the closet. Front right pocket, front left pocket, inner pockets from top to bottom on the right side, inner pockets from top to bottom on the left side. Not a thing.
The stress begins to go up. Time to sweep the house again. I begin to be less rational.
My world is the cell phone. I did not need to call anyone. I had no deadlines to make. No conference calls. If it were any other day and my phone was safely on my nightstand, I would have picked it up when I got up and not have looked at it again for most of the day. But because it was not where I thought it was, my entire behavior and attitude become tied to the phone. Clearly, nothing could proceed until the phone was found. Believe me I tried. I sat down to my computer to get some work done.Back to the kitchen. Check all the draws, under the dishes, in the cupboard. Move faster, gotta find the phone. Nothing. Living room. Take apart the couch, dismantle every shelf, again take the blankets off and shake them. Nothing. Quick glance into the bathroom, still nothing there. It has to be the bedroom. Again, take sheets off, comforter off, pillows off. Nothing. Wait, what was I wearing yesterday? Check my other jeans, and another pair, the khakis, some athletic shorts, a pair of running pants. Nothing. Different coat? Maybe, pockets, pockets, pockets, pockets. Not a trace.
Productive use of time and energy, right. Why does this happen? I could just go about my day and more than likely I would remember where the phone was or I would stumble upon it. How does this non factor vault itself into priority number one despite it realistically having no impact? More importantly, how can I avoid these kind of moments.Computer, on. Log in. Open email. Spam. Spam. Message from friend. Oh, wait, what if he calls? I must have my phone. Back to the kitchen. Check in the pots and pans, the fridge, cereal boxes. Nothing. Living room. Check the dogs cage, in the filing cabinet, in the fireplace. Nothing. Bathroom! Look i e medicine cabinet, under the sink, in the shower. Nothing. Damn. Bedroom. Every drawer, cabinet, nook, under the bed. Nothing.The phone is gone. What am I going to do? How much will a new phone cost? My friends are coming in this weekend, how will I touch base with them? Did my girlfriend take my phone as a joke? Maybe when she gets home she can call it and I can hear it. Oh, no, it's out of battery or it was about to be last night. It must be now. How much will a new phone cost? Shit.
I would much rather be able to recreate the feeling of happiness when I found what I was looking for. You take everything you have for granted until it is gone, this has been written more times than I care to know. But what if we could recreate this feeling without the losing.
These are the big issues, conquer these and you can take a leap towards emotional control.
Issue #1: How do I really prioritize?
You could spend the rest of your days reading book after magazine article after blog post on how to align your goals with your priorities. You could find a ten step plan a thirty-five step plan and a one hundred step plan. I have one. Take a step back every once and a while and evaluate. It is this simple. Unplug yourself from the routine to devote some precious time to figure yourself out. Do not try to do this in your lunch break. This will take effort as most people find it hard to look beyond the track that they are on. It is much easier to look at what you schedule looks like and say "looks good" if you are not truly considering the alternatives. Make it a weekend thing. Step back and figure out what you like in your life and what has just been along for the ride
Issue #2: How do I get that "found" feeling without losing something?
Happiness is a complicated subject. Just like prioritizing, you could devote a lifetime to happiness. Many have done just that and they have given their road maps out for reaching this goal. One common theme is pervasive throughout almost all the research. People are happy when they understand their place in life. This is very much tied into the unplugging mentioned earlier. You can very simply put yourself on autopilot and live your life. Do things how you have always done them. Go to the same places you always do. Happiness will not find you here. Happiness does not find anyone, happiness is a found emotion. The quickest path to it comes through an understanding of your own life. If you are reading this, you are better off than the super majority of people in the world. Enjoy that perspective for a moment. Read about the struggles of people far and close to you. Look around your home or apartment and see all that you have. It is without question more than you need. Remove yourself from the normal desires for a bigger TV, a nicer car or a new gadget. None of these things bring your closer to what you want. You are already there. You have everything you need to find happiness. You find this and you will never need to find that phone to be grateful.
Oh, and by the way, my phone was under the bed.
