Part Two (continued from this post on Friday)
I knew this was the environment in business. Nothing was going to surprise me. But I let my guard down and let the company convince me that they had too much invested in me. I couldn't be considered disposable. What about the $75,000? This is why I dreaded the call to the corporate office to report my resignation. I shouldn't have.
I called in to my responsible party at the corporate headquarters. He answered like a customer service representative at Verizon.
I explained that I didn't think it was in the best interest of either party to continue our working relationship (then I cringed waiting for the hammer to drop).Hello, Mr. McBride, how can I be of service today?
I explained that I felt like I was not the right person for the position and that I couldn't see myself working in this capacity for the next five years (Now I was going to get it. He was going to yell at me for taking up all of their time and resources. How could I have not known this before they spent $75,000 on training me?).Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. (Pause) Well, for my records I need to ask what the reason is for your resignation?
OK, I will note that. The next thing I will need is an official letter of resignation. Could you email me this within the next hour?
I am slightly taken aback by what seems like the response I would get if I was speaking with a "Cheese of the Month Club" representative and I was trying to cancel my subscription. It was all too sterile and lacking any emotion. I tell him I can muster an email within the hour.
I break the awkward moment by asking what else needs to be done.He is silent.
Do I have questions for you? No. Don't you have questions for me? Shouldn't you want more feedback from someone who is leaving you company after six months? I am willing to explain what I liked and what I didn't. My opinion could be useful. Who am I kidding? No, I have no questions.Um, well, once I get that letter of resignation I can terminate your employment. Do you have any questions for me?
OK, I will process this and then you will get a call from our equipment recovery company within the next few days. I'm sorry things didn't work out.
And with that the conversation was over. And with that my career was over.
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The call from the equipment recovery company came within the next few days. They were to pick up the company provided laptop and printer. This was the final step in the cleansing and erasure of my record.
Around noon two days after I had made the strange phone call to headquarters, a man who I have never seen before arrived at my apartment door. His name was Alan. His job was to pick up my equipment. He must be like a poor man version of the George Clooney character from Up in the Air. While he is not the grim reaper of corporate culture, he is the one who scorches the land of all remnants of the company. It played out like the reverse of a prisoner being released from prison. Instead of having my itemized possessions returned to me, I was giving the company back its printer (1, HP), laptop (1, Toshiba), ethernet cable (1, blue), backup battery (1), laptop carrying case (1), printer power cord (1). Actually, he didn't need the ethernet cord. Do I want it? No, I have no use for it, Alan. Thank you, though.
Do I need to sign anything? Alan tells me no. He just needs the things, which he has now. His job well done was my job being done.
I had been erased. I no longer had anything physically tying me to my six month trek into corporate America. It's almost as if it didn't happen at all. But the thing is that it did happen. It was my life for that six months. I will never get it back. I find myself wondering how many people in my situation made the same determination that day, that week, that month. It must happen all the time if this is how it is handled. The feeling began to grow inside me that it is not the responsibility of the company to care about its employees. In fact, it would be difficult for the company to care about its employees. How could they? Most companies of any worth have thousands of faceless workers who will never meet each other and (probably) never impact the company. They are only filling the space.
It is difficult to be a great employee without forgetting your role in the larger scope of things. It is difficult to give 100% effort when you are reminded of how meaningless employees are. This is why companies try so hard to convince their employees of their importance. Only when the trees are removed from the forest can the employee realize what that there was no forest at all.
I am not a bitter person. I truly am thankful for the opportunity I was given straight out of college by my employer. What I have come to realize now though, despite forgetting it completely while I was employed, is that loyalty has no place in business. My next career move will be towards a job which provides me personal satisfaction. If I continue to search for the company which values my work as much as I do, I will be searching in vain for the rest of my life. I will not forget again the place of the employee in the grand scheme. But, frankly, I will not care. And I will be better off for it.
GRM
GRM
